Yep, that's how it is!!!!!
Dear Family,
Okay so maybe not, but maybe sort of. It took me quite awhile to get
sleep tonight because I kept thinking of all the things I needed to
pack, all the packages I needed to package up, all the last minute
details, thinking about my blessings instead of sheep (Irving Berlin
lied, it didn't really work) and pondering on where life has been and
where it has taken me. I am still in shock that in about two hours I
will be on a bus to the SLC airport where I will board a plane to LAX
where after a lovely layover I will be boarding a plane to a rather
foreign country, oh wow... this is little old me who has never left the
country before going to such a random crazy place as Cambodia, this
could be fun ;-). I never saw Cambodia coming, I never saw Vietnamese
coming, heck I didn't see a mission coming til last year, but here I am
with two name tags on my shirt (so I don't lose my Viet one) ready and
so excited to serve the Lord. I am told the Lord qualifies those he
calls and I can only believe that is true, because I see me, someone who
has never had the opportunity to learn an Asian language be able to
bear testimony, pray and say thing what, and really what else does a
sister missionary need starting out?
The Lord has taught me so much here, but now it is time to
leave, I feel myself becoming content and that isn't a good thing. It
is interesting how that has changed for me. When I first got here I
longed so much to feel in control of the situation, to be able to coast
just for a day or two, to feel content for one moment, but now I fear
feeling those things because it means I am ripe for destruction. I
guess that sounds rather serious, and I don't mean to be melodramatic,
but for someone who has been called to such a work as this, there cannot
be contentment. If we could just see into the eternities and see what
things God has in store for us and our potential, we would never be
content again for we would know how much work we still have, but how
fulfilling the work is. I feel a greater peace in my life than I ever
have before. It comes from knowing that I am right where I need to be,
right when the Lord needs me. I have noticed the interesting stories
that have brought our zone here together now (21 yr old elders that had
so much against them, but came anyway, sisters whose bishops put an
expedite on their papers and stories of the Lord saying go now, even
when it didn't make sense) even our branch leadership came in with us
and left this last Sunday of our stay. Our Heavenly Father knows us so
much, He loves us so much, his planning is so perfect for all of us,
down to the smallest detail. Just thinking about it right now makes me
so excited. I can clearly see the missions of my companions and how
they will go (I know I don't have stewardship, so I keep my mouth shut)
but I don't see anything for myself, I don't know what is in store and
that is okay. Once more my Heavenly Father asks me "do you trust me?"
and once more I am saying yes. It is certainly easy to say that as I
sit in a spotless computer lab with air conditioning and not a trouble
in sight, but this is where faith begins. Once we make the decision and
pray to the Lord for strength we need never turn back. Don't turn
back, never turn back, never look back, never wonder of what might
have been. A friend once said that repentance is giving up the thought
that life could have been different. At this moment, in this one moment
we might think of all the ways our lives could be different or that we
made the wrong choice, it doesn't matter, for those are thoughts of the
past, today is today, trust the Lord to make it great.
My greatest desire in this moment, is to remember the advice I
just gave and to keep it treasured up in my heart. Dad always tells me
to be optimistic and stick to the positive and I will, but anyone who
knows me knows I am just a bit nervous, but if there is anything I have
learned in my time here it is that Heavenly Father can do miracles and
He can do a miracle in all of us, I am excited for that miracle.
I thank you all for your love and support for these twelve weeks
and for the adventures you have let me share in. I know the Lord has
great things in store for each of us, I hope we each move forward with
excitement to see what is coming just as I prepare myself to board a
plane and start a brand new exciting, interesting, adventurous, crazy,
service-filled and strange new adventure. I know God lives, He loves me
(and you) and His Gospel is once more on the earth (thank you Thay
Kiet).
Chi D`ao
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