A tennis racket to a baptism, only in Cambodia

Dear Family and Those I love,
    For those who don't know I will be saying hello to Cache Valley in a weeks time.  It was been such a long process, I have seen the Lord's hand every step of the way.  He has purposes that we cannnot even fathom and I'm excited to see what the next purposes will be.  In the last months of my mission I have learned what the Atonement truly  can be in our lives, true I don't know how it works or why it can does the things that it does, but I know it works.  My new constant motto, I literally use every day, whether I am exhausted on a bike or if I am laying in bed wanting to give up, just because I feel useless as a missionary and I remember D&C 1, God gave the weaknesses he gave us because he knows how to work with them and use them, here is the motto: "Work within the parameters you have, trusting that the Atonement of Jesus Christ can and will fill the gap""
   It is no accident my mission president talks about the Atonement, I share his words with you.  Be sure to read the whole thing, my meager words are at the end....

The Continuous Atonement

I have been thinking a lot recently about the atonement and wanted to share some of my thoughts with you.  The Atonement as a principles and doctrine is as key and important as any we teach—we talk about the importance of the doctrine of Christ—well the atonement is part of that—it is the atonement that makes the doctrine of Christ possible!  Without the atonement there would be no doctrine of Christ.  Faith, repentance, baptism, the gift of the Holy Ghost—none of it would have any meaning or help or power in our lives were it not for the Savior’s death and resurrection and redeeming grace. The whole plan of salvation hinges on the atonement!!  The “at-one-ment” that takes place as we progress from fallen mortality to being clasped in the Lord’s arms and one with Him.  The temple teaches us beautifully about this progression and the key importance of the atonement that enables it.  Only through His grace and by coming unto Him are we able to enter the kingdom of God—sanctified, purified, holy, and clean.

How important is it for our investigators and recent converts to understand deeply the meaning and importance and power of the atonement in their lives?  Incredibly important!!  How well do we understand the atonement ourselves?  How well are we able to teach others about it and help them access its power in their lives?
 
When I ask missionaries what they are studying in their personal study or what they would like to understand better, the atonement is often the first answer they give.

 It’s fairly straightforward to teach that Jesus Christ suffered and died for us, and took upon Himself our sins, so that we can be clean.  But do our investigators really understand how someone dying on a cross 2000 years ago makes a difference today in their life?  Do they really get how Christ’s death and resurrection in a faraway land so long ago can make a HUGE difference in their life today and motivate them to unwavering faith, sincere repentance, and a lifelong commitment to make and keep sacred covenants with God?

 How about in your life as a missionary?  Do you really understand how the atonement can help you every single day of your mission, and its importance for the rest of your life?

 Have you ever done something you have regretted?  Have you ever regretted not doing something you should have done? Maybe losing patience with your companion last night?  Or that person you didn’t stop to talk to yesterday that you know you should have?  That moment when teaching yesterday when you let your mind wander and so you didn’t have anything helpful to share when it was your turn to talk in the lesson?  Have you ever tried and failed?  Or failed to try?

 Life is an incredibly risky business.  In a million different ways, every single day, we fall short.  Even when we are trying our best.  It is precisely for that reason that the atonement is so needed, so important, so relevant in our lives every single minute.  It is something we need continuously.  It is what keeps us from being a prisoner to our past.  It keeps us from being consumed with regret and hand-wringing sorrow about all the things we didn’t do exactly right.  It allows us to face the future without fear and worry.  It gives us room to breathe, to live, to act, to try, to FAIL!  The whole POINT of this life is that we are here to learn from our mistakes!  Without an understanding of the atonement our regrets about the past mistakes we have made and our worries about the future can pile up so fast and heavy on top of us that our ability to live joyfully in the present is buried.  The atonement allows us to let go of those regrets, lay our past sins and mistakes at Jesus’ feet, face the future without fear or worry (even though we know we are going to make more mistakes and have more regrets), and keep moving forward.

The author of a recent article I read made the important observation that too often when we are dealing with a trial, with affliction, with difficulty or challenge in our life, we immediately want the Lord to SOLVE IT—to fix it, to take away the challenge.  To change the situation—quick Lord—get me out of here!  Take away this trial!  Make it go away!  That is usually the type of prayer we are prone to offer.  We want a miracle to change everything around us or everyone else or the situation we find ourselves in.  The Lord came to deliver and redeem His people from their sins!  Not change their circumstances!  The ancient Israelites couldn’t conceive of a Messiah who would come but not deliver them from political bondage to the Romans.  They didn’t want someone to free them from being a slave to their appetites and sins and weaknesses.  They wanted someone to free them from slavery and political bondage!  They wanted out of their circumstance!  But the Lord didn’t come to change their external circumstances or environment.  He came to change THEM!  To change their hearts!  It is the same with us—through the atonement WE are changed—not our circumstances.  We need to help our investigators realize that!   When their hearts are filled with faith, humbled to the point of repentance, committed to keeping promises with the Lord, and filled with the Holy Spirit—then they will be able to let go of the regrets and grudges and anger about the past and everyone else.  That’s when they will be able to face the future with hope and love and without worry or fear!  That’s when they will no longer be trapped and acted upon by the adversity and sorrow and pain of life, but instead be free to act with forgiveness and love and hope and faith!  Regardless of whether their external circumstances, income, or trials change or not!  Regardless of whether or not their spouse still treats them bad.  Regardless of whether or not they still haven’t found a job.  They will have changed inside.  That’s the power of the atonement.   That’s the difference it makes in their lives.  The atonement doesn’t make it so everything around us is right and fair and easy.  It allows us to live and love DESPITE the fact that probably the person we are trying to love will still not love us back.  DESPITE the fact that we are going to fail again!  Because of the atonement we can take the risk of trying, of failing, of loving, of living!  Does everybody need that?  Do we need that every single minute of this incredibly risky mortal life that we are in the middle of?  Absolutely!  We need it continuously!

 Preach My Gospel states, “As we rely on the Atonement of Jesus Christ, He can help us endure our trials, sicknesses, and pain.  We can be filled with joy, peace, and consolation.”  It doesn’t say He will take away our trials, sicknesses, and pains!  It says He can help us endure them!, And fill us with joy and peace and consolation despite the external circumstances we find ourselves in.  Is the power to live life with joy and peace and consolation, despite all that is unfair, a valuable thing for our investigators?  You bet it is!  Worth more than all the gold and silver in the world.

 How do we rely on the Atonement?  Here are a few suggestions:
 
Quit beating yourself up.  Sometimes we are our own worst enemy.  It’s like we think it’s ok for everyone else to repent and change but we know ourselves too well.  We know our weaknesses.  We can’t understand how it is possible to move past them.  We’ve lived with them a long time!  But the fact is the Lord has already suffered for your sins.  So that you DON’T HAVE TO!  Stop inflicting emotional and unrelenting pain and shame and guilt on yourself and realize your beating yourself up is not going to gain you access into some kind of hall of fame of self-induced punishment and win you eternal merit.  All it does is delay your ability to progress.  Quit beating yourself up.

 Instead of praying to change your circumstance, pray to change your heart, your attitude, yourself.  Instead of asking for the Lord to take away whatever your current trial or challenge is, pray that He will give you peace and consolation and strength to endure it well and transcend it.  The atonement is about overcoming.  The Savior helps us overcome sin and death.  He also helps us overcome our trials and our pain and our regrets and weaknesses.
 
Let the atonement shield you from heartache.  In a thousand different ways every day we unknowingly, and knowingly, hurt, offend, or annoy other people.  And they do it to us.  When it happens to you, rely on the atonement—hand it over to Him.  Pretend someone is handing you some slimy, stinky garbage.  Do you want to keep it and sleep with it and rub your nose in it time and time again and keep it in your pocket and pull it out every few hours and gaze at it?  NO!  Immediately imagine yourself handing it right over to the Savior—here, Lord, you take this one—I don’t want to keep it.  He’s already dealt with it—He knows it, He has seen it before, He had already overcome it.  Let Him have it.  Don’t keep it.   And if you are knowingly giving garbage to someone else, stop it!

Take the risk to be better than you think you are.  Better than you were yesterday.  The atonement provides the hope and promise of being able to try even when you think it is beyond your ability or nature.  The atonement lets you spread your wings and fly.  Even when you are not sure you even know how.  It shatters the chains of self-doubt and self-imposed limitations that would otherwise keep us grounded. Because the atonement makes it possible to try, and try again.  To risk extending love to someone else even if they don’t give it back.

Finally, let it stoke the fire of faith inside you so that you can repent and change.  Amulek taught that the atonement “bringeth about means unto men that they may have faith unto repentance.” (Alma 34:15)  The little engine that could didn’t get to the top of the hill by saying “I don’t think I can, I don’t think I can.”  Let the atonement give you the means you need to have faith enough to repent and change.  Study the Book of Mormon and let it build your faith that the Lord Jesus Christ is indeed our Savior, Redeemer, and Deliverer.  As that faith builds, it will be “faith unto repentance.”  Picture yourself adding wood to the bonfire of faith in your soul every time you study the word.  As the fire becomes hotter it will purge and burn out the desire to do wrong, it will purify you “life a refiner’s fire” and the heat of that fire of faith will keep away the wolves of temptation and sin.

A deep and true understanding of the atonement can help an offended member move past the grudges, the offenses, the hurt of the past.  A deep and true understanding of the atonement can help a young single adult member filled with anxiety and worry about their future take the risk of asking that special someone to date them or marry them, even though they know neither of them are going to be perfect for each other and they don’t know how they are going to survive financially.  A deep and true understanding of the atonement can help a mother try and try again to repair a relationship with a wayward teenager, even when it seems never to help.  A deep and true understanding of the atonement can help a missionary move past regrets about the past, or fear of failure, and find joy in the glorious present opportunity to testify of the Savior and His power in our life.
 
The atonement is the source and wellspring of our faith.  It is the compelling reason to continue to repent.  It is the motivation to make and keep covenants with God.  It calms our fears and allows the Spirit to fill our hearts.  It is the power to endure every trial and temptation.  It is the rock upon which we build our life.  It is the doctrine of Christ.  Teach it to those you are called to serve.  Rely upon it yourself.  Continuously.

I bear testimony that the atonement of Jesus Christ is real and powerful and available to all.  In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Thank you for sharing these adventures with me.  This week will be the last opportunity you have to write to this missionary, take advantage of it, if you want. 
Chelsey could we watch the Adventures of Tin Tin, in two weeks?
Natalie I look forward to seeing you and having a very nice long, long chat :-)
For whatever reason I can't fathom my work now, here is done, but knowing we have God's blessing on our efforts, always makes it worth the efforts, my prayer is that we always have that greatest comfort in our lives, knowing we did what we did for the right reason, the right way with the help of God.  This is the purpose of our life here. I love you all, God be with you til we meet again.  Stayed tuned for my last mission post next week. 
Love Chi Dao

House or airport? :-)